Getting Hiwatari Kai to Nail Me
by Goth. Ang
Summary: My life is difficult enough! So why is it so hard to get a lay from this guy! KaRe,rated for,well...the warnings are inside.
1. Let's get the perspective right

DGA: I have returned! After feeling loved, I am posting up a story based around Rei and his antics as he tries towoo our unsuspecting and very much uncaring Kai.

Kai:...Unsuspecting? I know exactly what's-

DGA: Hush!

Kai:...-hushes-

DGA: Now this is a yaoi story so I would runfast if you don't see eye to eye with open minded people. Further more, this story will contain coarse language, possible scenes of violence, illegal activities, future innuendos, sex scenes, character bashings and ooc obssessions and worst fears...You havebeen warned.

Kai:...Like what?

DGA:...?

Kai: Obssession wise.

DGA: You'll have to see, ne? Disclaimer please!

Kai: Again? -sigh- D.G.A. Does not own Beyblades or the Character designs. But you are capable of gaining money from her now.

DGA:-in background- Yay! I have five dollars!

Kai:...Enjoy.

* * *

Life is complex. But, it takes arseholes like Hiwatari Kai to make it flat out impossible. I mean, what does it take to get nailed by this guy anyway?

Oh. Sorry. I should start from the very beginning, shouldn't I?

It starts with me, everyone's favorite neko-jin, Kon Rei. No. I don't lack modesty, thank-you _very much_. It's just that every body thinks I'm lovable and cute. It's not my fault.

Anyway...

I set out to see the world. To become both a better beyblader, and a better person. So I came to join the Bladebreakers…and…I never realized that you can become gay in one second flat.

There he was, stoic, tall and strong, ignoring all else and finding sanctum in his own mind. Hiwatari Kai. I lost all sense the second I laid eyes on him. Never before in my life, had I seen someone like Hiwatari Kai. I was used to tanned skin, natural hair colours…except Mariah's and Kevin's, of course…but…I had never seen someone so pale! I was infatuated by not only that, but also his mentality, and his dark contrast to my view on life and the world. Sure, he's a grouch, a bastard even, but one has got to admit, he's pretty damn gropable. And not just that! He's drop dead sexy! I mean really! I'm pretty attractive myself, and I'm not afraid to admit it. But he's just been voted this year's "Top Bachelor"! Come on!

But, back to what's important…

The Bladebreakers have been a team for over two years now, and I'm driving myself insane! I've fallen in love with the guy that everyone loves to hate but they still want a piece of him! Now I have to be cool. I'm making a game plan here.

I WILL by the end of this month, get Hiwatari Kai to nail me.

It's a broad goal, I know. It can be approached from plenty of different angles. But I have a feeling that only a few of them will work. So, I will do my homework and I will not rest until I finally make this boy my koi!

Now…how to get this party started…

* * *

DGA: And there's chapter one. Yes this, is a chapter fic. The first chapter is short but it's just the intro to the story. So,if you want the next chapter, review kudasai!

Kai: Or I'll poke your eye out with a rusty spoon. Doesn't matter if it's left or right. You can decide that.Then I'llpick your spleen out with a spork and prod you multiple times with sharp cooking utensils before finally calling you many nasty names.

DGA: Kai likes his cutlery.

Kai: Yes, yes I do.

DGA: Brutal...but very efficient.Rei sends his hugs to all those who reviewed "WithYourLips to Mine".

Kai: Lucky bastards..

DGA: HUSH!

Kai:...-hushes-


	2. Deodorant and Inspiration

DGA: w00t. Chapter 2! Let's get down and busy!

Kai:…in a good way, I'm hoping…

Rei: Ne, haven't you heard, Kai?

Kai:...?

Rei: It's always the good way with D.G.A.! She's a yaoi junky!

DGA: Aw shucks. Anyhoo! This is where the story really begins! Disclaimer-kudasai!

Rei: D.G.A. does not own Beyblades. That includes Kai and myself…which is a shame considering that we would be---

DGA: ---ON WITH THE STORY! XD Oh. I warn you about Kai's naughty mouth…

* * *

'TYSON! GET THE FUCK OFF THAT LAZY ARSE AND GET OUT OF BED_NOW_!' Ahhh. So begins another morning in this less conventional team that is the Bladebreakers. I would say that Kai's voice is music to my ears of a morning, but unfortunately, he has to scream at Tyson to get the "growing boy" moving.

'Hey, morning, Kai.' I greet in my casual manner as teh sex god of impending doom stalks into the kitchen. Now, you must understand, Kai's hot and all…but he's the Grim Reaper in the flesh of a morning. 'Coffee?'

'Please!' I hear him rasp behind me. Something tells me that our stoic phoenix didn't get much sleep.

'Tyson's snoring keep you up, ne?' I glance over my shoulder in time to see him nod. Yeah, I thought so. I just can't help but smile as I set to work on making Kai a well-needed coffee. This is our daily ritual; Kai gets up first to go for some early training, then I get up and start on breakfast. Sounds simple, ne? Now counter in waking Tyson and dragging Max away from the sugar in the pantry. Moreover, getting Chief to socialize with someone other than his laptop, then you've got issues. And here I was thinking that I do _all_ the babysitting.

Poor, _poor_ Kai.

'Breakfast ready yet?' Enter stage left---Kinamiya Tyson! So, I see teh sex god's eye twitching. Ah, yes, and now the battle of the sharpest tongue.

'Tyson you twat! I tried to wake you up five minutes ago! What took so long!'

'Well _SOR-RY _Mr. Sourpuss, but some of us aren't robots that can be switched on and off!' Oh how I wish I could just switch Kai on.

'What no pun intended to poor Zeo, NE?'

'Since when did you care about Zo!'

'You faggot-arse git! I was being sarcastic!'

'Wow! That's new!'

'Hardy-fucking-ha! Who writes your material? I just have to meet them!'

In trots Max, Chief close behind.

'Are you being you sarcastic again?'

'WHAT DO YOU FUCKING THINK?'

They sit down, ready for breakfast like good little children. Oh, how cute.

'Um…yes?'

'Tyson…you're a fucking idiot.'

Hey…the kitchen's quiet again. I wonder wh---Oh. Ooooh. Kai's burning a hole in Tyson's head with a death-glare. I step in and play peacekeeper by giving Kai his coffee and placing an absolutely full plate of food in front of Tyson and every one else. As expected, Ty. starts stuffing his face and teh sex god seeks and finds the newspaper with a grunt.

Sexy and primitive…Yummy.

Having successfully calmed a building storm, I opted to join my fellow bladers. As I sat down, though, I noticed a new scent in the air. Being a neko-jin and all, not a lot gets past my nose.

'Hey, Kai?'

'Hn?' He doesn't even glance over his paper.

'Are you wearing a new deodorant?' Then a whole minute ticks by, Kai slowly lowers the paper, and one perfect pale blue eyebrow quirks upward. In Kai talk, this means one thing. "What the fuck are you on?"

'What the fuck are you on, Kon?' See. He once again picks up the paper and continues reading. Both my eyebrows raise in question and I wait patiently for an answer. 'It's Lynx Phoenix.' Nose still in the paper.

'I thought you liked Graphite; Viper best…' I said off-handedly. All I receive is a grunt. Hm. Something tells me today's going to be a little different.

* * *

Rain, rain go away, come again some other day, rain, rain go away, this little kitty wants to play. 

Argh. Reduced to this. We take a step out to train, and it starts bucketing down. And boy did Kai looked pissed about it.

Well, he maybe teh sex god of impending doom, but he has absolutely NO power over the weather. I think that little factor right there annoys him. So now we get to watch home movies! Joy.

Oh, hey. Robert getting fresh with Kai after the Olympia challenge. Ooooh. I got a good joke for that one! Heh heh heh. Maybe, I should share my humour.

'I haven't seen an English man take a blow like since Hugh Grant.' I whisper to Kai, bringing my lips real close to his ear on purpose. A low rumble sounds in his throat, as he chuckles deeply.

'Had a black eye too.' I grinned. So that's where that black eye magically appeared from! Of course! Kai's fist! Kai just takes joy in other peoples' pain. Especially Tyson's. But so does a lot of people.

'What, don't you like being hit on?'

'Depends…' He replies cryptically. Ah. It's one of those "I'm going to keep beating around the bush" ones, is it? Two can play this game…Though, I'd much prefer the ice cube game, but one can't be too fussy, ne?

'Oh. I get it.'

'What?'

'I get what you mean.' I have no clue what you mean, Hiwatari Kai. But I'm going to act cool about it. Those crimson eyes of his just lock on and stare…….And stare…..And stare---Gods! Does he ever blink! 'What?' He shakes his head and continues watching the recordings.

I think he's onto me.

If only I knew what he was thinking… I need a mind reader…or a psychiatrist…Or better…some one on Kai's wavelength……

…………………………..!

Ooh! Brain wave! Who's the one person who knows Kai practically inside out? Tala! Ah-ha! He is sure to have some clues on getting Mr. Hiwatari over here into my pants. I am struck by brilliant inspiration! I knew today would be different and freakish for a reason! To remind me of Tala! Ha-ha! Now, I just have to get past Kai and make a call.

'I'm going to go and make a phone call, guys.' I say as I get up from my seat, acting as casual as I can.

'Sure.' Tyson, check.

''Kay!' Max, check.

………Clicking of a keyboard…Kenny, check.

Now here's the final test. I head for the door.

'Kon.'

'Yes, Kai?' Oh, Gods…Just stay calm. He couldn't possibly know your alterative motives, Rei…

'If you're making a long distance call, don't take too long. I'm paying you know.' Oh, thank the Gods…Smiling over my shoulder, I reply;

'My, Kai…I never knew you were stingy…' I receive a glare.

'Get fucked.' Oh, I'm trying, Kai…I'm trying. I slip into the kitchen and pick up the receiver. Just punch in about ten numbers. And wa-la! It rings.

'_Tala Ivanov speaking.'_

'Hey Tal. I got a question to ask.'

'_Oh, hello, Rei. What is it?'_

'You've known Kai for nearly twelve years, right?'

'_Yes…and?'_

'Can you help me get laid?'

There's a minute silence on the other end…Heh. Bet he didn't see that coming.

'_Yes, yes I can.'_

Score.

* * *

DGA: I haven't much luck writing late at night. 

Kai: Tell me about it.

Rei:….She just did…

Kai: ¬¬…..

DGA: Anyhoo! Review with what you think, did it suck? Am I any good at doing Rei's perspective? Considering I mostly do Kai's…But, tell me! Please! Ooooh. Sleep time. 'Night.


End file.
